So, based on the sheer amount of drunk dials I got last night, I can see that all of you are not only alive, and well – but that some of you really love to call and spread new years cheer…at 3:30 in the morning…repeatedly.
I was happy at first to be getting thought of by so many people, then the realization of what was happening set in. “Oh God” I thought…”I know people all over the world. I’m gonna be getting these calls all night.” Once the panic died down, then I was kinda frustrated…I’m usually awake at 3:30am, but there are only two or three people who ever have permission to call me in the middle of the night like that (unless someone is losing limbs) and they know who they are. At this point I’d already done my customary goodnight conversation with my best friends and had settled in to watch Game of Thrones on HBO On demand.
Now, ignore for the moment that I have the night time rituals of a twelve year old girl, and that I talk to my best friends every night before I go to bed, and grasp the big picture here. I was watching Game of Thrones. I don’t even game while I watch that show – no matter how many times I may have seen the episodes. I’m not picking up my phone for you. I don’t care if your foot is on fire. Calling me repeatedly to ask if you can come pick me up isn’t going to make me want you to do it. I don’t care if you offer me a small country – I’M WATCHING GAME OF THRONES.
As the phone kept ringing I started getting really annoyed…At some point I started getting really passive aggressive and some of your ring tones are now the sound of an annoying sorority girl trying to hug everyone…(I must say though – some of you are still champions by the way – I’m not going to mention any names, but California – which is what I’m calling you because I’m not going to mention you by name – I’m surprised that at 38 you can still make calls like that at 4 am. Your drunken dexterity is impressive, as is – and i’m judging by the fact that you called me “titty bear” which you haven’t called me since I was 18 – your hangover this AM…but I digress. Yes. I’m aware that sentence structure made eyeballs all over the place bleed but Fuck You – I win at Grammar.)
Now, I would tell you all that I have these profound new years resolutions about changing my life for the better. Truth be told, I usually don’t wait for the new year to make those kinds of decisions. I’m usually an impatient ass and I try to ground myself to five min increments of time. If I can make it through an entire day without pissing off the wrong people too much, I get something productive done and no one gets too hurt at the end of the day, it’s usually a success. On days that I get to eat garlic mashed potatoes or fresh bread – I’m usually HAPPIER. Seriously. If I have enough money to go get a packet of ramen noodles in my pocket and a way to talk to my family and friends – And I can manage to go a whole day without pissing one or all of those people off – I’m doing AWESOME. My goal is usually just to operate somewhere in that window of safety and hopefully make someones day a little better. If I can make someone laugh – my day just went off the charts into happy land.
Instead of talking about what I want to change in my life around this time of year, I like to talk about what I am thankful for. I think it sets a better tone for the coming year, makes me not slink into a hate spiral from hell when I can’t maintain whatever crazy bullshit I decided I needed to do to make me better, and it keeps me focused on what matters.
So, without further Adieu, I give you – in no particular order -“Things I am Thankful for and hope to keep over the next 12 months.”
- My Family. I know it sounds crazy, but I have the worlds most awesome set of blood relatives EVAR. Like, seriously, even my cousins are cool. They all look at me funny when I show up places with dreadlocks and pierced things and crazy hair extensions at my age, but at the end of the day, the all love me – and I love them. They are a quirky, crazy, messed up dysfunctional bunch sometimes – but really what family isn’t? So many people don’t have this luxury and I am among the blessed few who don’t fly into homicidal rages over family gatherings and stuff because they are a bunch of awesome people.
- My OTHER Family (Now, non gaming friends, this is where you get to look the other way and snicker about how I’m getting weird over a game and mentioning people by their handles – but you can all STFU) – The Earthen Ring community and more specifically The Phantom Legion guild – and the following people – Nemamiah, Halonan, Kanta, Monroe, Kekeka, Merlynna, Thsay, Wenna, Kalren, Janderius, Sielic, Mournwood/Gravefox/Vansi/Cryptum/ 20 billion other names I can’t remember because you change characters more than an idiotic drunken ADHD Panda…Yes, I know all of your real names, no I’m not mentioning them here – you are all treasured. You have become a huge part of my life and it’s been a pleasure to make stories with all of you. The creativity and awesome strength of character I’ve seen from most of you over the last year or so is astonishing and awesome. I love all of you to bits – even if I didn’t mention your name here. If I forgot you – it was nothing personal, I have just met too many awesome people this year.
- The ability to have gotten a brand new awesome computer and several other new toys this year. I work my ass off. I give back when I can…but in times when some many families don’t have enough, and good people are without jobs/housing/food – I’ve managed to put together some really amazing opportunities. As hard as I am on myself on a daily basis – and even when it seems like things aren’t good enough ever – I’m REALLY happy these days. Depression and killer drive to succeed aside, I’m content.
That about covers it. This month I will be making some appearances on podcasts, and releasing some new creations to sell. Be on the lookout for those announcements – you may see my face other places too but I’m not announcing ANY of that publicly just yes (even though some of you know).
Look for me January 11th on the Earthen Ring L.O.R.E. Podcast with Kanta and Mox. I have no idea exactly what I’ll be discussing exactly but it’s my hope that I can stay on task and not wind up rambling about ducks or something. Look for me there. I’ll be the one called “Ephasia.”
I love you all. I’m going to play W.o.W, and SWTOR, maybe get my main W.o.W character up to 85 (If I can stop RPing long enough) and work on knitting some awesome things tonight.
Love you all. Thanks to those of you who didn’t TL;DR me.