About a week and a half ago, I had a run in with my derpy adorable dog, and some stairs. I lost. I hobbled away with a dislocated knee, and a really messed up back.
This past week has been a lot of me trying to lay with my back in a neutral position. I threw my back out the first time when I was 27 on the ice in Minnesota. I’m not gonna lie – I spent most of that miserable experience cuddled up on a heating pad with a jumbo bottle of Vicodin and Muscle Relaxers…And there may have been whiskey involved. It was a bad time – but it eventually got better.
Now, I was very hard on my body when I was young – Gymnastics, Dance, and for a few years there was the abject poverty and sleeping wherever I fell down that happened when I fell in love with Punk Rock and Political Activism.
With this coming December marking the sixth anniversary of my 25th birthday, I am forced to take stock of things from time to time. So far the start of my 30’s has been way more forgiving than my 20’s. I can eat more than every couple days, I have a bed that doesn’t roll out onto some hard surface. I own things that I can do more with than stuff in a backpack and wash every once in awhile. I miss the spontaneous nature of that life though…Breakfast in a diner in Indianapolis, late dinner in Pittsburgh. Flying to Boston to hang out with friends for St. Paddys…Waking up in NYC. Life was really hard back then and If my parents had any idea what I was up to my mother likely would have had a heart attack.
I just got a mix cd in the mail. It opened with “Blank Generation” By Righard Hell and the Voidoids…and goes into the Clash, X-ray spex, and winds into the American stuff from the 80s starting with the east coast (Bad Brains, Black Flag) The Midwest – Violent Femmes, The Replacements and working to the lighter West Coast stuff…The liner note just had a lipstick kiss (from a man) and a note that says “Lex, You are a tough bitch, but we are old now and I still love you…Even though you bought in and now have tupperwear.”
Lex is a nickname I aquired because at one point I rocked a short black bob with the betty page bangs – I have big blue eyes and often dressed in all black. I looked like the main character in Serena Valentinos’ comic “Gloom Cookie.” I was always walking in two worlds – the world of my nerd people in the comic stores and video games, and the world where kids regularly got bones broken, jaws snapped, etc…at shows. I remember seeing a friends band – she played bass…I watched her headbutt a guy off stage who kept trying to grab her and knock his teeth out. I spent my days in libraries or on busses…Working my way across the country when I could and falling in love with the artistry of music, makeup and subculture. Politics.
To get back on topic, now that I am older, I have a chronic autoimmune disease (Lupus) and am paying for my many sins in my younger years – I’m stepping into the shoes that I should have filled a long time ago. I am writing. I am working on a story as we speak with an incredibly talented (Though he doesn’t know it) writer from Mexico. I am still working on the Comic and the Podcast but I am in a perfectionist loop with these things. These are my babies and I’m not quite ready to release them into the world yet. This collaboration is forcing me out of my hole and making me work with someone else. Have to share my work immediately. Its incredibly uncomfortable, but everything that produces good work with me is. Like pulling teeth with no anesthesia and then the work is something I feel I am proud of.
So, this week has been Mix CD’s, Makeup, Dislocated body parts and me yelling made up insults at stand up comedians on twitter. You know, A typical week.
Love you all,
P.S. I’m trying to grow my community in anticipation of launching the website and the podcast – Feel free to share this with your friends.