The cycles of growing up – reflecting upon leaping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

These last few months have been a special, beautiful, rewarding kind of tournament.

I have been costuming a Terry Pratchett show in Chicago (shameless plug – Wyrd Sisters at the Side Project theater – running through the 28th.) I have also been working my usual crazy schedule…on top of trying to schedule some more shoots and write a book. It’s turned out to be about 95 hours a week.

Everything got done, and now I’m essentially – except for the few odds and ends to repair – on vacation. I have not had a legit vacation since the last time I ran off into the woods.

That was over a year ago and even then I worked every day because I’m apparently incapable of chilling the fuck out.

I’ve met some pretty amazing people through this project. Like minded people…people as strange as I am it seems. Some (*cough* Morrison and Rowan…*cough*) have even heard of my other work and kind of dig it from a distance.  I’ve met working actresses who also are into geek and burlesque culture which is cool…mostly – I don’t feel like the only weirdo on the room.

This brings me to another thing…perception is everything. I’ve had to adjust mine several times through this process. The internal monologue is apparently abusive. This was kindly pointed out to me by a friend…several times. I hear the abuse so much that it has become normal. I’ve had to actively adjust my perspective several times through all of this.

Perception of others is also important. I have much practice in this…but recently I got reminded that it’s something other people struggle with as well. One of my dearest long friends was asked to leave the house of some of my other friends. Yes, he’s a handful…but I’ve never seen someone be so completely misjudged in my life. It also was not worth arguing. Most people make judgement in about 30 seconds. Everything that happens after that just informs the original decision.

I’ve worked really hard NOT to do that – people are messy and odd and strange and complicated. I have a complicated collection of people – namely, some broken ones that I’m super close to. Everyone is broken, these people are just way more open about it. I do way better with these people – the insane doesn’t come out of nowhere and smack the shit out of me. It is sometimes surprising how few people really think of all that. None of the people in this situation are bad. Quite the opposite – they are all good friends. They just clash. Diometric opposition (even though they have waaay more in common than either would think).

Anyway – I’m alive. I’m gonna go get some sexy clothing and try not to get Sun burned. I’ll keep walking this tight rope as long as I can get away with it.

Party on.

xo xo xo
Lexxx

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