Thoughts come spinning ’round

I’m feeling quite snarky lately. Seriously.  Everything…it is becoming obvious that the bullshit is wearing on me.

Ive been quite busy lately.  Writing for nsfw gamer and working on a play with my writing partner. Next point that’s been grating at me…

I’m basically a chick that acts like a dude.

It makes bonding with both men and women really difficult.  Chicks don’t get me and guys…dont usually see me as a woman.  Not one they want anyway.  So…things are strange and uncomfortable for everyone.

Next point.

I’m back to the strikingly red hair. I’ve lost enough weight that I will and should be able to wear a bikini this year and not look like a beach ball. Seriously – there’s some curves in there. I’m even wearing leggings in public and not wanting to call People of Walmart. Its an awesome feeling.

All joking aside though…

Im trying to work on my self image. Fall in love with what I see in the mirror….but its really hard with the world pushing back. When I think one thing is going well…another goes awry. It is always something.

Im hoping that this week brings more goid news and creative juices. Cause i need them.

image

My final point…im done being vulnerable with people. Im very up front and in the open…it usually just upsets people and turns them off of me. I really need to just learn to keep my mouth closed. This happened recently with a dude that could have been an awesome friend – instead he’s off in the corner giving me crazy eyes.

How are all of you?

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